Scadam’s Tourist Spot

Scadam Skirata is a Mandalorian warrior and columnist currently syndicated on Twitter and The Forcebook.  Mandalore Cares, Just Not About You is the latest in a series of books dedicated to preparing outsiders for their visits to his home planet. When he is not busy offering sage travel wisdom, Scadam can be found polishing his beskar’gam or enjoying a pint of Black Ale with his Vod.

Please note. The armrest attendance button delivers a 50000 volt shock. Mandalore Travel. If you wanna get there alive, shut up.

This is a blaster. It has no safety catch.*points blaster*Safety demonstration over. Mandalore Travel. If you wanna get there alive, shut up.

If by in-flight movie you mean in-flight beating then yes, we have in-flight movies. Mandalore Travel. If you wanna get there alive, shut up.

 Contrary to popular belief Mandalore is a perfectly safe planet to visit. It’s the Mandalorians that are dangerous.

Visit Mandalore before Mandalore visits you. Take home some souvenirs, a slab of uj cake, and a smack in the mouth.

When in Mandalore, don’t try and do as Mandalorians do. We’re the only ones who can be that awesome.

Weather info for Mandalore: Fine, occasional clouds and high chance of blaster fire. Body armor recommended.

If you do choose life, come along quietly. We don’t want to have to hurt you.

Unhappy with your vacation on Mandalore? All refunds are paid upon request. With blaster bolts.

Visitors should not ask to get Mand’alor Boba Fett’s autograph. Unless by autograph you mean punch in the face.

If your the type of being that complains alot Mandalore is probably not the best vacation spot for you.  Unless you like being stabbed and shot repetitively then by all means come visit us.

Lost luggage, pets, personal effects, limbs are your problem not ours.

Mandalore vacations are the perfect getaway. Bring credits or getaway.

Visitors to Mandalore enquiring on the locations of day spas or luxury shopping will be shot on general principle.

Mandalore would like to remind all visiting aruetiise that violence may occur at any given moment. If you are involved we hope you have good travel insurance.

Comments & Responses

3 Responses so far.

  1. Em'ika says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I’m laughing so loud my mom asks me who I’m laughing at. I say no one, I’m reading something.

  2. Ijaat Meerel says:

    ROFL!!…that is some shab’la hilarious Osik right there

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